The Ugly Truth: A Brides Tale

So wedding season is upon us, YAY! Definitely one of my favor parts of the year. Getting the privilege to be a part of something so personal and magical is always a plus. There is so much that goes into a wedding, money, time, patience etc. The finished product is all sunshine and roses, but what happens behind the scenes? I took to a group that I love, some random brides and social media, to ask, “What was the worst part of your wedding planning process.” Here’s what they had to say…

“I worried a lot throughout my process. I wanted to do it all on my own, and will admit, I turned down my mother’s offer to hire a planner. Huge mistake, but I knew that once I started. Anyway, I think my biggest thing that no one really knew about was that NONE and I mean NONE of the bridesmaids were on good terms by the time the wedding day came. They put on a good front for the guest, and I was way too stressed to handle one more thing. It was pretty bad.” Janet, NY

” For the most part, it was great. I had a small destination wedding in Hawaii, and no bridal party. I did worry about the food way too much” Meghan, CA

“My fear was that the food would not be good or the guests wouldn’t have fun” Stef, NJ

” I would have to say finding the dress because I’m not normally a woman who wears dresses, also be able to afford what you imagine what your wedding day to be.” Khisa, NJ

“So I have a lot of friends. Some are from my child hood, and some from college and beyond. For me, choosing who was going to be in the wedding party was incredibly hard. It really stressed me out, because I didn’t want anyone to be offended my my decision. Plus I have 2 sisters and my husband has 2 sisters and a brother. There was no way we were having 20 people walk down the aisle. I did explain to them that I couldn’t have too everyone in the wedding, MAN DID I GET LOOKS. So what I ended up doing is giving them special tasks within the wedding process. There were some who were phenomenal at DIY and decorating and stuff like that, so they were the Bridal Shower crew. I have a good group that I made my Bachelorette Party group, and although a big crowd, we ALL went to my first round of trying on dresses. My bridal party only consisted of our siblings and we had the best time!” Monica, TX

“I am Nigerian. Since my husband and I did something tiny, we still had the grand party my parents wanted us to have. My husband was so excited, while I cringed. My mom ran the show, of course and did everything according to her. I didn’t care as much seeing that I was technically married and not paying for any of it. My attitude was very “sure do what you want”, and she did. My mom was a nightmare most times, but pulled this wedding together and it was incredible, I won’t lie. The BIGGEST issue that I had was that it was an invite ONLY party. That was so important to me. Our people just randomly decide to show up to events they’re not invited to. There was a guest list and everything. By the time the night went on, the guest list meant nothing. Randoms started to come in, there wasn’t enough seating and we feared that even with the extra amount of food made and all the alcohol bought, that we wouldn’t have enough. I guess it went ok. I didn’t want my mom to stress so I put a group of cousins on it and it seemed to work out”. Nneka, NY

“My fear for the wedding planning process was being so far away fro the venue till week of. Worst thing in my wedding planning process was really just all my bridesmaids not agreeing on things then arguing and then bringing me in the middle, trying to have me take sides.” Kim, FL

“I’d definitely say if I could do it all over, I would have brought my bridal party along to choose their dress. I didn’t have them in mind completely and chose the dress on my own, and really based it on an assumption that they would be too opinionated about something in my wedding. A very, they’ll wear whatever I choose attitude. The dress didn’t work for all of their body types. Not a person complained. They went with the flow to make me happy. I felt horrible. It still comes up, but I’ve apologized.” Kelly, NJ

“Family interference. Enough said.” Jackie, GA

“My mother-in-law acting as if my mom was favored above her because she was the mother of the bride. I personally had never seen her act like that before. I was shocked and annoyed that she was making my wedding about her. No one made her feel insignificant. NO ONE. She made it up and ran with it. She has since apologized, but that was tough.” Markita, MD

“Worst part of planning was when invitation went out and people assumed their kids would be invited.” Melissa, NJ

“The only thing that I regret is walking around to each table. I wish I would have done a receiving line after the ceremony. Took a lot of time away form enjoying the reception.” Stephanie, NJ

“The worst part of the planning process was letting the fear of weather get to me and planning my wedding ceremony around that fear.” Sharissa, NJ

“For me, it was the guest list and seating chart. I was always worried that I was going to offend someone. The reality is someone always gets offended when planning a wedding, so I eventually learned to just plan and be happy.” Allison, NJ

“Our cake lady went MIA and ghosted us the week leading up to the wedding then delivered the cake right before the ceremony… to the wrong venue.” Katie, CT

“I wish I would have organized mine better and booked the photographer longer. I didn’t communicate enough with the DJ and ended up having to rush to take pictures of the special dances and the cake cutting.” Melissa, PA

“I booted most of my wedding party. Way too much drama, and I was already dealing with all the details of the wedding. Two of them thought it was their wedding. Gave trouble from the jump. Oh well.” Miriah, OH

“Weddings are stressful! For us, it was helpful to have a small bridal party because the more people you have involved, the bigger chance of a fallout or issues. Today, we have people on both sides that we don’t even talk to anymore. Just try to keep your closest friends/family by your side.” Kristin, NJ

“No one knows this, but I had 6 bridesmaids. Two of them couldn’t STAND each other. I didn’t know how bad it was, at all. One was a childhood friend and the other was a friend throughout college and sorority sister. I was close to both, but I guess my childhood friend tried to “out- friend” my college buddy. I think my soror hit her boiling point after the other bridesmaid made a quick comment. A small fight broke out, right before hair and makeup arrived! No one would have ever known; not even the hairstylist and makeup artists! The rest of the day was beautiful!” April, CA

” My biggest fear was the guest list, and how much it was going to cost us. Hence we got married in the courthouse with immediate family members. Since it was so many of us, it was still nice. ” Raniyah, NJ

Well there you have it. Great advice from real brides. To sum it up, This is YOUR wedding. Not anyone else. Hire a planner!! Yeah, it may seem a bit bias coming from me, but reading a lot of these and other feedback, it sounds like most brides really just needed a planner. You’ll be glad you did!