5 Types of Bridesmaids and How to Deal

Hey WW!

Your wedding is one of the best days of your life.  You’re ready to marry the love of your life, be surrounded by friends and family; it’s just a wonderful time for everyone to celebrate you two.  You go out of your way to ask the closest and most important people to stand by your side in front of your guest.  So then why do those same people decide to give you a hard time?  In my wedding party, there were two of my favorite people who couldn’t be in my wedding so I had to add two subs.  It happens, but I wanted to have an even amount of people. I love symmetry.  It’s already a lot to do if you choose to plan your wedding, so a difficult bridesmaid is last thing you need.  Here is a small list of the types of bridesmaids you may encounter and how to deal.

The Critic 

This bridesmaid has a TON of advice.  She’s that “know it all”. She loves to tell you what you should and shouldn’t do, based on what they have already done.  More than likely this person has just gotten married (like two minutes ago), and wants you to plan your wedding the way she should have planned hers.  Be able to spot the ones who are trying to change your mind, and the bridesmaid who are really trying to help you out.  Sometimes it’s nice to have someone who is experienced. You could actually get good advice from them however, don’t let this person get into your head.  Before you know it, she’s planning your wedding.   Always be polite, but stay firm in your decisions.  If she continues, ignore her long enough, and she’ll get the hint.  It’s your wedding, not hers.

The Copy Cat

She will take all of your ideas.  Every. Single. One.  Some of the fun in the planning process is being able to share this journey with the people who are close to you.  You do it without any thought of whether or not someone will take your ideas.  This bridesmaid is the one who is probably going through planning her own wedding.  You both share your ideas with each other, but she’s telling you she doesn’t like some of your ideas.  She’s probably taking mental notes, trying to see where she can fit the awesome ideas you had, into her wedding.  Small story time:  I had a bride, who mentioned sparklers to her friend, who happened to be planning her wedding (that was 4 months after) and she told her the sparklers were a bad idea. That same friend who told her they were a bad idea, had sparklers at her own wedding. How to deal with the copy cat? Don’t be so forthcoming with your info. She’ll just have to see when she gets there just like everyone else.

The Prima Donna

She somehow makes your wedding about her.  She works under no one’s direction but her own and ensures everything works her way.  She’s the bridesmaid that makes you say, “she was difficult throughout the all the planning (we’ve all had one).  If you’re dealing with a prima donna, simply find time to talk to her.  You never want to look back and regret not having a simple conversation.  Approach the talk delicately.  Start off by telling her how appreciative you are of all of anything that she has done, speak about the reason why you’ve asked to talk to her, and then finish off with something else that complements her hard work ( yes, it’s the sandwich approach).  She’s your friend and important to you.  Let her know that she’s valued, but it’s your wedding.

The Complainer

She is the brides who complains about everything, but is never around for anything.  She’s what I like to call the “Negative Nancy” or “Debbie Downer”.  She’s negative about every decision you make and rains on your parade.  When dealing with this type of bridesmaid, from my experience, it is probably deeper than what it appears to be.  Approaching this conversation can be difficult.  I always say it doesn’t have to be a confrontation, just a conversation.  Talk through what may be occurring and ask questions.  If she’s pushing back and you feel you can’t get any solid answers, maybe it’s time to consider whether or not she should even be in your wedding. Harsh? Not really.  Simply ask if she still wants to be in your wedding. If she chooses to stay, great, but know you’ll have to address it later.  If she chooses not to, then that’s that, move on with planning, but know that you’re not only going have to address it after the honeymoon, but it could possibly be the end of a friendship.  People grow apart.

The Exception

As we all know, not all bridesmaids are difficult.  This bridesmaid is the one who is so excited for you, feels honored to be a part of your journey, and wants to help wherever she can.  She makes planning easy.  When you take your bridesmaids to try on dresses, she doesn’t complain, because she understands that it’s what you envisioned your bridesmaids in.  She’s a go with the flow kinda gal!  She understands the workload of a wedding and does what she can to not add to the stress it may cause.  She’s your “go to” girl.  You can definitely talk to her about it all and know she’s there for you.  My “exception” bridesmaid was my MOH. She made sure that I ate, handled guests that weren’t invited and even the ones who said they weren’t coming and showed up (eye roll). She was the best hands down.

Tell me about your bridesmaids! Did you have any that fit any of these categories?  Until next time WW!